Just Joy

I've taken plenty of biology classes and I've used a microscope plenty of times. I know my way around a lab. But all the new basic skills we've been learning in microbiology have had me feeling belittled and lame. The first cell staining: three tries. The second type of cell staining: four tries. The third type of cell staining, two and a half hours later: one try. There is nothing like the feeling of joy that comes with success. After worrying, stressing, feeling inadequate and wounded, there is nothing like the elation that comes with a job well done. Especially on the first try. I've never been so excited to see E. coli and Staphylococcus in my life. My relationship with science has always been rocky and figuring out lab technique is always a challenge for me, but I am a capable individual and will remember perserverance and hope this year, even when they're so easy to forget.

But really the most important thing that stood out to me was how good it felt to be happy. To be overtaken with joy is a beautiful thing. To not be able to hold back from yelling and the smile that spreads across your face. I want more of that. Just that.

Just joy.

9/15/11