Cowardly

I left with a friend to road trip from Newberg, Oregon to Alaska, and as we drove we talked and talked and talked. He said something that two weeks later as I strive to catch up on posts, I still remember for this day. We were talking about video games and what ones we liked and what ones we don’t like, and he brought up modern day war games that simulate real life situations in Iraq and war in general. They make them almost completely synonymous with life, if not completely synonymous apart from the TV screen and controllers, and my friend brought up the fact that people sit down in front of their TV’s and fight other real live people in a simulation of the real thing, and derive joy from it, when in real life there are actual men fighting and dying. They're coming home with post traumatic stress disorder and psychological damage. Men that don’t want to die or kill with real fear and real courage coursing through their veins as they do just that, that given the choice would opt to not be there but back home with the families they’ve left behind, and boys back home simulate their situation with joy. The real life situation is full of pain, loss, and terror, and real men with real courage experience and endure that. My friend said, “It’s almost cowardly to play a game about it.” And he’s right. What right do we have?

The subject of being cowardly brings me to another learning experience for this day. I do not like meeting new people. Maybe people that I’ve heard about, or family of people I know, but I am vary wary of whether or not I will get along agreeably with the complete stranger. Which is why as we drove into Seattle to spend the first night with some of my road tripping buddies friends, I threw out the suggestion to drive all night instead of staying too long in Seattle. It was an honest suggestion fueled by our need to get back home at a certain time, hopefully early since I had another trip to leave for soon after we got back, but it was most definitely fueled by my fear of being uncomfortable with the stranger as well. With umph my friend agreed we should keep driving, but we should still stop by and eat dinner with and spend time with his friends. We parked in a vintage and comfortable feeling section of Seattle, hiked up flight upon flight of creaky wooden steps outside to the top floor of their building, and entered into the most original, cute, homey, brilliant apartment I’d ever seen with a copper looking slopping shiny ceiling and view of the city lights. The two sisters who greeted us hugged me and were full of laughter, hospitality, vitality, raw honesty, and joy. I started to regret my suggestion to not stay long. We walked through town, ate delicious food at a Southern style restaurant, watched part of a movie and when they went to sleep we continued on our way through the border.

I learned two lessons about cowardice today. One about not being foolish in emulating real life with imitation and puffing it up to have value, and another about not fearing the stranger and opportunity.

5/2/11