My Community

I hate people on a regular basis. Today, I was reminded who makes up my community. Sitting in the airport for five hours without internet forced me to live in the present and right where I was. After walking through the science section of a kids store, witnessing an impatient mother and then encountering the hoards of women with their children in the airport, I realized I would like to be a mother. Maybe someday. I also realized that I'd like to take all of the other mothers places because somehow I believe that God has endowed me with wisdom that no other women posses of how to raise a child. But I only get one. Maybe two. And that's it. I realized I have to share the responsibilites of the world with my community. The raising of a new generation of people, the forming philosophies of the world, and the leaps forward in science: they can't just be me. I'm a contributer and if I want to do it right I need to be able to know and encourage my community, and trust them as well instead of trying to steal responsiblity from everyone around me. If being in the world isn't about being perfect, like I talked about, than not trusting people and not being okay with their mistakes is no longer acceptable for me.

A natrophatic doctor talked to me for an hour while I sat in the airport. He was open and honest and vulnerable. He was not a creeper, but a philospher, and he walked me to my gate and hugged me goodbye. An off duty flight attendant sat next to me on the airplane and let me pick a movie to watch with him on his lap top. He made sure I had food and water. My friends of eight years picked me up at the airport at home and loved me. Loved me.

My community is made up of servants. Servants that refresh my soul and remind me who I am. My community is made up of people just like me who get impatient and confused and unmotivated: I tend to hate my community most for the things that I hate most in myself. I can't demand perfection from them because I don't really believe that perfection is about doing everything right and best all of the time. It's something that has to do with love. I am learning to trust my community, love them when they fail, and learn to serve them just like they serve me.

12/19/10