Clothes

I try on way too many outfits every morning. I make a point to look good when I feel that my life is least in my control or I'm most upset. It's when I'm most confident that I wear sweat pants. I'm never satisfied with my body. Most of the time I feel like I'm okay with my body, but worry about what others will think of it when I compare myself to them and their mindset.

Shopping? Always a self esteem destroyer. I was reminded of this today as I pulled larger sizes than what I originally grabbed off of racks and struggled to find jeans that fit my waste AND my thighs. And the inevitable truth is that I will buy a pair of jeans...and then after about two times of wearing them discover that I loathe them along with every other pair I own.

If clothes weren't built for barbies, maybe I'd feel a bit better. If clothes were built for my body type, and finding something that fits well wasn't so hard, than maybe I would feel a bit more accepted in my skin. But I think that's how most of us women feel: the more clothes we find that don't fit our bodies, the stronger the impression we get that we don't fit the mold, that there's something wrong with us, and that we need to change.

I wish I could find the perfect pair of jeans.


Perfect pair of jeans courtesy of Mardou & Dean. They can be yours for $234.

12/26/10