After spending half a day with a group of guys, I am ready to shoot in the face with my nerf gun anyone who tries to one up someone else. Because I can shoot farther, have better aim, throw farther, throw faster, throw with better accuracy, be sneakier, dive stealthier, fix things more accurately, stand taller, workout harder, play video games better than all you other people in the room. I have bigger muscles, more height, cooler clothing, more women that love me, and a better car. And AT LEAST your life isn't as horrible, terrible, no good, unjust and unfair as mine is. You may have gotten shot, stabbed, shancked, your car may have broken down, your entire family could have died but AT LEAST you are not in my dire situation: let me tell you all about it. What on earth is with certain mens need to one up everyone else, especially other men, in every way shape and form during every second of every day? What is with this primal dominance battle? No one cares if you think you're wiser, smarter, stronger, cooler, faster, stealthier, or overcoming hard times than everyone else. AND STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT SEX. You've beat them to death and they're not funny anymore. Your filthy mind is not impressing anyone.
In my almighty opinion people should be proud of who they are and proud of who other people are just the way they are. People should let people be who they are and build each other up. They should take others seriously and listen to what they have to say when they need to be listened to. The focus should be off of ourselves and building up what makes us "better" and focused on humility for ourselves and uplifting others. Why can we not be honest about who we are and okay with who we are within that? Why can we not be gracious and humble about what we're talented in?
I've never felt so inadequate, insulted, and so in need of proving and defending myself to a group of people.
My worth in inherent.
12/2/11
I feel you girl. I am so sick of the guys that act like this. I'm in Bible college and I see this EVERY DAY. I'm so sick of men.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I wish we took more time to get the focus off of ourselves and onto others.
:/
ReplyDeleteNow I feel devalued.
I never catch myself as an active participant in this because it is so natural. Even in a community of believers. It's what we do.
The way in which women express their insecurity is very different, and I have discussed that in depth previously with my discussion of commercialism and such. There is a also a lot of social nastiness between women and that comes out in cliquiness, rumors, etc.
But welcome to the wild world of male insecurity. We are social morons. Pretty much all of us. Therefore, without knowing it, we end up competing ALL THE TIME for self worth. Not in a primal way by beating each other with sticks and roaring, but its not much different. Our society isn't really any better at making men feel worthwhile either. Women are told they will never be good enough, and men are told they won't be good enough until they "beat" everyone else.
This post is depressing and insulting. It's also completely valid and justified. Bravo on pointing this out, but now I feel really challenged.
I wish men knew how to make each other feel validated and valued so that we could talk in a real and humble way. But I don't know how. It's not "manly". We are taught to do anything but that, or society will reject us.
I hate society. Fixing it is a pipe dream. I'll still try to do what I can, but this one is going to take some thinking.