The End ?

I had been so excited to write this last post, and for weeks before the 11th rolled around I knew exactly what I wanted to say. Upon it actually rolling around, I had no idea what to say and I made my last post and let it lie: I can't leave it that way forever.

It does not feel like it has been a year. Sitting here now it feels like a month ago that I started this and over the months I've grown so attached and so in love with this project that I hate to let it go. It feels wrong to stop.

The deepest things that I wondered if I would ever reveal on here, I did not. I was not as honest as I wondered if I would be, but still more honest than I expected, and this served me well. I hoped that in being honest about myself, other people would be encouraged to be honest with themselves, and if they found some connection with what I said, would find the strength to be honest to others in return. My hope was most definitely realized.

I wondered how people would react: I feared that I would be shot down and rejected. That never happened. I found companionship in my struggles, and that was unexpected. I found that people connected with what I said: enough to follow this project to the end.

The thing that stands out to me the most in the end is the enormous loyalty that people showed. I did not expect anyone to follow this project for a full year. I did not expect new friends to go back and read everything and continue following along. I did not expect people to notice that I had not posted and encourage me to do so. I did not expect people to miss this project when I let it go for weeks on end. I did not expect people to value it enough to be sad for it to end or want to celebrate it as an accomplishment. In the end, it is not the response to my honesty that stands out the most: I think I knew what the good result of that would be. But the interest of others, of acquaintances and friends, to continually value this project because it comes from me and because they value me was shocking. And humbling. I am not a good friend: not the way others are to me. It was the loyalty and the true friendship that was shown to me that I was not expecting: those are things that I never expect to be shown.

Thank you to everyone who showed me loyalty and friendship. I am completely floored that you would find me worthy of such things, and the value you've made me feel calls me to a higher standard. You have shown me a level of friendship that was not apart of me, and I am very glad that my year of honesty revealed that to me.

I am more than honored by a friend, Brendon Perkins, who has found such value in A Study In Honesty to not want the project to die. He has started A Study In Peace to continue the journey and I encourage everyone to follow along with it. Thank you Brendon, the value you've made me feel takes my breath away.

I'll be going back and finishing this for awhile: there are posts that were never written and holes that do need to be filled. But a love for writing developed through this and I don't think I can stop here. A new kind of project will be evolving soon: 400 Years of Silence will pick up where this has left off and it will be of a much different focus.

A year of honesty complete.

The End ?