There are a lot of things that put stress on my life. I'm finding a lack of value in what my life is geared toward right now, a lack of direction with school, a lot of worry for friends, a lot of tension in relationships, a lot of emotions stemming from all different areas of my life, and there has been a serious lack of compartmentalizing, organizing, and thinking through all of these different things as separate entities. Much like the way my desk in my room looks right now, I've piled everything into a messy heap and when it comes time to sort through it all, it turns into a giant disaster. Hence the spaghetti analogy:
When mind mixes with pain mixes with heart mixes with failure, and I try to pull myself up by the bootstraps, I feel like this. It seems nigh impossible to sort through myself when it all gets dumped together like a bowl of spaghetti. Have mercy: I can't be who I need to be like this, but let me get some sorting and cleaning done, and in time I'll be back.
4/12/11
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