A friend posted this on facebook today and I wanted to share it. There is so much in the world that I didn't know about and I was floored. Number's 12 and 31 stand out to me the most. Number 12 inspires me to be more than I am and for some reason number 31 hit me hard and I had the most severe reaction to that photograph. So here you go:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-most-powerful-photos-of-2011
12/5/11
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Screenwriter's Will
I did quite a few things today that were abnormal as of late.
I did one of those things in the Bible that we all know we're supposed to do but it's hard therefore we don't. And I don't want to forget how it happened: there was a moment of struggle in which I knew what I should do, but the second the moment arose I could do nothing else but what Jesus would have done. I always wonder what I would feel if I followed through with something like this...and there is that sting that I thought there would be but at the same time there is something else that is growing. Something light and bounding and joyful. Something which confirms a blessing upon me and my actions and it is encouragement to not let this be the last time.
I also spent a couple hours in deep discussion with two friends. It spanned the topics of mindless entertainment, fleeing temptation, standing firm in temptation, the nature of developing character, the hierarchy of art forms and entertainment, waiting in faith, acting in faith, the nature of truth and knowledge, clinging to the vine to produce good fruit, knowing when to cut off your hand to keep yourself from sinning, the nature of time, the nature of education, the validity of tradition, a reverence for ceremony, and more. I listened, was listened to, made others think, was convicted, found value in two unusually wise individuals and felt like an unusually wise individual myself. I got the feeling that something had taken me by the hand and was leading me toward the pursuit of more depth and wisdom, but most importantly His truth. It made me aware that there is something else that is growing. Something light and bounding and joyful. Something which confirms a blessing upon me and my actions and it is encouragement to not let this be the last time.
"I wish my life was like this."
"Why isn't it?"
"Because this is scripted,
and I can't write this good 'a script."
"Maybe you need a new screenwriter."
I need to make way for a new screenwriter.
12/3/11
I did one of those things in the Bible that we all know we're supposed to do but it's hard therefore we don't. And I don't want to forget how it happened: there was a moment of struggle in which I knew what I should do, but the second the moment arose I could do nothing else but what Jesus would have done. I always wonder what I would feel if I followed through with something like this...and there is that sting that I thought there would be but at the same time there is something else that is growing. Something light and bounding and joyful. Something which confirms a blessing upon me and my actions and it is encouragement to not let this be the last time.
I also spent a couple hours in deep discussion with two friends. It spanned the topics of mindless entertainment, fleeing temptation, standing firm in temptation, the nature of developing character, the hierarchy of art forms and entertainment, waiting in faith, acting in faith, the nature of truth and knowledge, clinging to the vine to produce good fruit, knowing when to cut off your hand to keep yourself from sinning, the nature of time, the nature of education, the validity of tradition, a reverence for ceremony, and more. I listened, was listened to, made others think, was convicted, found value in two unusually wise individuals and felt like an unusually wise individual myself. I got the feeling that something had taken me by the hand and was leading me toward the pursuit of more depth and wisdom, but most importantly His truth. It made me aware that there is something else that is growing. Something light and bounding and joyful. Something which confirms a blessing upon me and my actions and it is encouragement to not let this be the last time.
"I wish my life was like this."
"Why isn't it?"
"Because this is scripted,
and I can't write this good 'a script."
"Maybe you need a new screenwriter."
I need to make way for a new screenwriter.
12/3/11
Saturday, December 3, 2011
AT LEAST
After spending half a day with a group of guys, I am ready to shoot in the face with my nerf gun anyone who tries to one up someone else. Because I can shoot farther, have better aim, throw farther, throw faster, throw with better accuracy, be sneakier, dive stealthier, fix things more accurately, stand taller, workout harder, play video games better than all you other people in the room. I have bigger muscles, more height, cooler clothing, more women that love me, and a better car. And AT LEAST your life isn't as horrible, terrible, no good, unjust and unfair as mine is. You may have gotten shot, stabbed, shancked, your car may have broken down, your entire family could have died but AT LEAST you are not in my dire situation: let me tell you all about it. What on earth is with certain mens need to one up everyone else, especially other men, in every way shape and form during every second of every day? What is with this primal dominance battle? No one cares if you think you're wiser, smarter, stronger, cooler, faster, stealthier, or overcoming hard times than everyone else. AND STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT SEX. You've beat them to death and they're not funny anymore. Your filthy mind is not impressing anyone.
In my almighty opinion people should be proud of who they are and proud of who other people are just the way they are. People should let people be who they are and build each other up. They should take others seriously and listen to what they have to say when they need to be listened to. The focus should be off of ourselves and building up what makes us "better" and focused on humility for ourselves and uplifting others. Why can we not be honest about who we are and okay with who we are within that? Why can we not be gracious and humble about what we're talented in?
I've never felt so inadequate, insulted, and so in need of proving and defending myself to a group of people.
My worth in inherent.
12/2/11
In my almighty opinion people should be proud of who they are and proud of who other people are just the way they are. People should let people be who they are and build each other up. They should take others seriously and listen to what they have to say when they need to be listened to. The focus should be off of ourselves and building up what makes us "better" and focused on humility for ourselves and uplifting others. Why can we not be honest about who we are and okay with who we are within that? Why can we not be gracious and humble about what we're talented in?
I've never felt so inadequate, insulted, and so in need of proving and defending myself to a group of people.
My worth in inherent.
12/2/11
Friday, December 2, 2011
Competence
Let us be informed and wise. Let us speak with competence. To do that we need to listen first.
Listen.
Listen.
11/30/11
Thursday, December 1, 2011
What's in a name?
I got on familysearch.org and looked up my great great grandmother's name, Antonina Soares, just to see what would happen. I then proceeded to spend the next two hours at least, looking up my family tree and tracing them back to when they came over from the Azore Islands. I was baffled to find that legitimate records of them were online and was strangely surprised at how fulfilled it made me feel just to find their names. I don't feel strong loyalty to my family like other people do. To many people, family is one of the most important things and they would do anything for them: often times this concept is lost on me. But I felt a deeper connection with the names of the generations that came before me and paved the way for me than many relatives that I've met face to face. I can't understand this.
What is in a name? My great great grandmother's name was Antonina. My name is embedded in the center of hers, and though I'm not named after her, it is derived from a form of her name. And in turn and I am derived from a literal form of her: my body and name all find their roots in her. Who was she? No one remembers what she was like. Was she caring and quick to smile or mean and closed off? Did she have an iron will and a sense of adventure or a bitter soul? She was married and had children in the Azore Islands before she ever moved to America. What must that have been like? She has a very light name: a very soft name. I imagine she was like that in her core, but from the plot line of her life I have to infer that she was a fortress of a woman. I hope she was lovable and I hope she was loved. Genetics are not joke: they contribute to so much that makes us who we are. What of me is her? For someone that knew her and then met me, what we they say reminded them of her through me?
Antonina begot Alzira (Elsie) who begot Alzira (Elsie) who begot Carol who begot Toni. And Joao (John) and Antone (Tony) and David (Dave) and Richard (Duke) all married into the line. And I wonder what's in my name. To be named after Antone and Richard: to be named after all men. I feel like there is something sacred to a name and wonder if I have daughters, if they will recite my name from three and four generations away, wearing the rings passed down from my mother to me, and if my name will roll off their tongues in a whisper and they will know nothing about me but that the words are sacred and cling to them as though they are the rings on their fingers. I would like to name my daughter Elsie. And maybe one of her daughters or granddaughters will begin carrying on the name Carol (because they will grow old and wise and have more daughters; isn't that strange?) And maybe those names will make them into who they are: My Vu, Antone (Tony) was a gardner when he was young, and my Ti Tony worked at a greenhouse most of his life: I wonder if this explains my inexplicable urge to grow things as well. I hadn't put that together until I had worked at a greenhouse for a season and my mother told me how odd it was that I had always wanted to garden since I was young. I wonder if my daughters will inherit anything from their names. I wonder if Antonina, Antone, Tony, and I all had this in common.
Maybe because of technology my name will never be whispered as simply sacred. Maybe my great great granddaughters will look through my pictures and videos on facebook. They'll read my old messages and emails. They'll read my study in honesty. They'll meet me as a young woman and grow up with me through all of my journals. Maybe they'll know me well. Maybe they won't like me. Maybe they'll love me. Maybe they won't really know me at all. But I hope that when I die and the years take away all remembrances of me, that my name will get to join that sacred echoing archives that I have discovered and which breaths meaning and soul into this independent body.
11/29/11
What is in a name? My great great grandmother's name was Antonina. My name is embedded in the center of hers, and though I'm not named after her, it is derived from a form of her name. And in turn and I am derived from a literal form of her: my body and name all find their roots in her. Who was she? No one remembers what she was like. Was she caring and quick to smile or mean and closed off? Did she have an iron will and a sense of adventure or a bitter soul? She was married and had children in the Azore Islands before she ever moved to America. What must that have been like? She has a very light name: a very soft name. I imagine she was like that in her core, but from the plot line of her life I have to infer that she was a fortress of a woman. I hope she was lovable and I hope she was loved. Genetics are not joke: they contribute to so much that makes us who we are. What of me is her? For someone that knew her and then met me, what we they say reminded them of her through me?
Antonina begot Alzira (Elsie) who begot Alzira (Elsie) who begot Carol who begot Toni. And Joao (John) and Antone (Tony) and David (Dave) and Richard (Duke) all married into the line. And I wonder what's in my name. To be named after Antone and Richard: to be named after all men. I feel like there is something sacred to a name and wonder if I have daughters, if they will recite my name from three and four generations away, wearing the rings passed down from my mother to me, and if my name will roll off their tongues in a whisper and they will know nothing about me but that the words are sacred and cling to them as though they are the rings on their fingers. I would like to name my daughter Elsie. And maybe one of her daughters or granddaughters will begin carrying on the name Carol (because they will grow old and wise and have more daughters; isn't that strange?) And maybe those names will make them into who they are: My Vu, Antone (Tony) was a gardner when he was young, and my Ti Tony worked at a greenhouse most of his life: I wonder if this explains my inexplicable urge to grow things as well. I hadn't put that together until I had worked at a greenhouse for a season and my mother told me how odd it was that I had always wanted to garden since I was young. I wonder if my daughters will inherit anything from their names. I wonder if Antonina, Antone, Tony, and I all had this in common.
Maybe because of technology my name will never be whispered as simply sacred. Maybe my great great granddaughters will look through my pictures and videos on facebook. They'll read my old messages and emails. They'll read my study in honesty. They'll meet me as a young woman and grow up with me through all of my journals. Maybe they'll know me well. Maybe they won't like me. Maybe they'll love me. Maybe they won't really know me at all. But I hope that when I die and the years take away all remembrances of me, that my name will get to join that sacred echoing archives that I have discovered and which breaths meaning and soul into this independent body.
11/29/11
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Love Letter
The Jews read what we call the Old Testament and view it as a love letter from God. Upon reading these verses I'm starting to see why:
“And I will betroth you to me forever;
yes, betroth you to me in righteousness and justice,
in hesed, and in tender compassion;
Yes, betroth you to me in faithfulness;
And you shall know Yahweh.”
(Hosea 2:19-20; Heb vss. 21-22)
“For it is hesed that pleases me, and not sacrifice;
And the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”
Hosea 6:6
yes, betroth you to me in righteousness and justice,
in hesed, and in tender compassion;
Yes, betroth you to me in faithfulness;
And you shall know Yahweh.”
(Hosea 2:19-20; Heb vss. 21-22)
“For it is hesed that pleases me, and not sacrifice;
And the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”
Hosea 6:6
It seems so human. It seems like what we experience, or want to experience, every day. We want to be known and understood by someone, we want unconditional loyalty and trust, we want intimacy with another human being. God wants that with us as a community and it gives him the face of so many people I've known in the past and makes him so more closer to real in my eyes. What other men have demonstrated with feeling in the past is what I see God demonstrating and it moves me to want to respond.
11/28/11
11/28/11
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunset
I have seen some incredible sunsets in my short 20 years, but of everything I've ever seen, this one topped them all. Sitting at the window as the plane began its decent to Portland, my friend tapped me on the shoulder and motioned me to look out the window. Outside in the distance was all clouds, and it looked as though the sun was a fiery liquid resting on the ground in the midst of them as clear defined pink and orange rays spread out through the clouds toward us and over the ground. It was something you would see in a national geographic. We landed in the darkness of night, the sun we had just seen had gone to sleep behind us. It was literally the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen and probably ever will see. It's no good trying to describe but at least I'll mention it so I'll never forget. There are indescribably beautiful things in this world.
11/27/11
11/27/11
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