Loving as myself

Whenever I write a story, I can never write characters that aren't me. They may act differently and do things differently than me, but their hearts are the same and I love them. I love them because I know the "why's" behind all their actions. I'm writing a modern day Samson/Delilah story and the more I write Delilah, and the more wrong she does, the more I love her. Because she's me.

My approach to people is much different than it was a couple years ago. I don't love people anymore. I am easily annoyed and I am quick to cast people aside that I think are rude, shallow, or different from myself. I look at them and I give them no excuse for being who they are. They get no leeway from me for being people that reject truth, honesty, and common courtesy.

I see a huge divide that I want to mend. There is a connecting point between my characters and I that makes me empathize with everything they do, but I have stopped making the effort to search out the connecting point between me and real people. I was telling someone about Samson and Delilah today and they jokingly, or maybe not so jokingly, called Delilah some sort of long and filthy name ending in whore. And I was sincerely insulted. Even though they may have been right, how dare they talk so carelessly about a woman who had real reasons behind what she did?

I love my characters as myself, and maybe more, because I see myself in them. I need to be loving others as myself, and probably more, because they have pieces of myself in them, and there are "why's" behind what they do as well.

11/16/11